About

My name is Michael, and this is my blog.

I was born around the same time as MC Hammer’s career, and ever since I was young, found that my life, complete with all its trouble, was a great source of entertainment to everyone but myself. Soon, I discovered that my ability to attract misadventure like flies to poo made for essential reading to those who adored me as a focal point of laughter care about my well being.

I remember when I discovered this. It was a few years ago, and a close friend was on holiday ‘meeting the parents’. Needless to say, it wasn’t the most action packed holiday they had, so I brightened their day with a retelling of my own road trip up North of where I lived. Now, it’s been a few years, but the torment of that trip is still pungent within my memory.

Before the days of affordable GPS, I was driving up North with some friends. One of these friends had printed off some directions from Google Maps, which, despite still being in its infancy, they trusted so much so as not to source a backup route. The trip went fine for the first 95%, at which time Google directed us down a road marked for 4WD vehicles only. We examined the first 50 meters or so of the track, which was just very gravelly, and decided that, since we didn’t actually know where we were, we would trust Google and just go slow. In retrospect, this is how a B grade horror movie would start, if Google was the killer.

So slowly we went, and for the first 200m everything seemed fine. Slowly we traversed the gravelly dust road, and slowly we slipped right into the soft soft sand. So we sat, wondering what to do, trying all sorts of desperate attempts like trying to deadlift the car out while slowly reversing, until all hope was lost, and we decided to look for help.

Half way between us and the main road there was actually an old farm house off to the side (all we needed for this to really be a horror movie was for us to decide to split up and one of us go skinny dipping before Freddy jumps out.) So we walked back to the farm house, which turned out to be occupied (which, it turned out was a very rare occurrence). The people there lent us a hand, and pulled the car back out from it’s sandy prison (and just for luck, tore up the plastic underneath the front of the car). So slowly we reversed, heading back to the main road, slowly we bogged again and walked back for more help, until finally, we were back where we started, and found that the main road looped around to where we wanted to go…

So, angry, sunburnt, and thirsty, we arrived, at which time I parked, and walked bare foot on the burning road to the ocean (I could feel no pain, I was too angry). After calming down, I walked back, this time feeling the pain, and arrived looking like I had really had an adventure. My whole body ached, so someone there gave me some strong pain killers (a low dose of morphine… but enough).

She put two tablets in my hand, and turned around to get something. I quickly put the pills in my mouth and swallowed. As she turned around, she said “now have one pill now, and one later.” “Huh?!?!” This low dose of morphine suddenly became a normal dose of morphine, and somebody was asked to accompany me to my room so that I didn’t get lost… because I was high. I don’t remember anything else of that night.

But now, things have taken a twist.

I’m a Christian, you see, and am now a missionary in Thailand. Some time circa 2004, while in my first year of studying the Bible, I felt very strongly a burden for the children of Thailand and surrounding regions. Though not knowing anything about Thailand except for this:

Needless to say, therefore, I did not think up a calling, as for all I knew, Thailand was a land where everyone was 7 feet tall and wore eye patches. I didn’t know of its economics, its problems, or heck, even its location on a map.

But I did know that for some reason, God wanted me there. It wasn’t until almost 4 years later however, after finishing all my study, that I finally stepped foot in the country, and wasn’t until almost 5, that I stayed long enough to need a visa.

Me being here though, brings a whole new dynamic, including many misadventures, and, like a good sitcom, I’m always learning lessons along the way.

Stay receptive, be prepared to learn (and forgive), and most of all, enjoy.

Michael